Reason
by eddie-angel
Summary: New Years Eve in NYC. Was Bobby really looking for answers to questions that didn’t exist?
1. Contemplation

**A/N: **My first (probably very shabby) attempt at CI fanfiction. It's a fairly short story that just popped into my head last night. I didn't have anything better to do, so here it is!

**Disclaimer: **I own the first season on DVD, apart from that, nothing :'(**  
**

**Reason**

New Years Eve in NYC. Was Bobby really looking for answers to questions that didn't exist?

**Ch. 1- Contemplation**

Bobby Goren sat alone in his living room. He looked at the bottle of vodka on the table, still three-quarters full, or one-quarter empty, depending on how you looked at it. His eyes then roamed to the empty shot glass next to it. He wasn't drunk, probably not even halfway there yet given that the bottle hadn't been full when he'd started on it.

He'd had three or four shots before he'd started contemplating exactly what is was about this time of year that made him feel so depressed and alone in the world. He'd been thinking about this almost every New Year's Eve since he was a teenager. Not every year had been like this though. Some years he'd gone to parties but he just didn't seem to fit in there. Everyone there was just looking to get drunk (and/or stoned) and find someone to spend the night with. His friends weren't bad guys, they would always be there for him, but they just didn't understand him. Not like Alex did.

New Year's Eve, he mused thoughtfully, was supposed to be a time of saying farewell to the old year and welcoming the new one. You're supposed to be looking to the future, not to the past. But moving onto the next year often made people question their accomplishments of the last twelve months. Bobby knew a lot of people would say that he had accomplished a lot of great things, all the murderers, scammers, and other human scum that he had helped lock away. He guessed that that was undeniable. But he couldn't have done any of it without his beloved Alex. _His_ Alex. That's how he liked to think of her anyway. The woman who kept him sane and of this world. Something she might never know. He'd often wondered why she stayed around. One of his most common ideas on the matter was that she pitied him. But then that never really sounded like the Alex that he knew and she didn't seem the type to stay around without a reason. But what was that reason? He'd never come to a conclusion that seemed quite plausible.

Maybe he was just focusing too intently on the problem, or maybe just looking for answers to questions that don't exist. _Can't see the forest for the trees._

He slumped back onto the couch, staring at the white ceiling with feigned interest.

Why did everything always come back to her? Back to Alex?

He'd been wondering that for much longer than twelve months now. Ever since he'd realised just how much he needed her. Without her, he didn't think his life would be worth living. He lent forward, resting his head in his hands. Was it really that simple? He knew he loved her, but was he in love with her? This thought caused him to laugh out loud. What a great New Year's Resolution. Definitely not committing that one to paper.

He sighed. Love is an emotion that has the power to be highly simple and extremely complicated, both at the same time.

He loved her, that much was simple, but what love brought to mind for him made it seem so complex. For him, love seemed to go hand in hand with fear, pain, anxiety, regret and rejection. Not to mention that fact that a) they worked together; and b) she was his best friend and the only person that he thought understood him.

Aw hell, he thought, this was going to be one long damned night.


	2. The Other Side

**Summary - **For Alex, something had been missing that whole night.

**Ch. 2- The Other Side**

That night, while Bobby was contemplating the situation that his meddlesome mind had gotten him into, Alex too, was sitting home alone.

Her silver stiletto heels, with the sparkling diamantes, had been abandoned next to the couch as soon as she had walked through her front door. It was 10:45 on New Year's Eve and she was sitting home alone on the couch.

She was wearing a black halter neck dress that stopped just below her knees. The neckline was nothing to risqué, showing a small amount of cleavage with a neckline that stopped half an inch below her breasts.

She had her feet tucked under her on the couch and was leaning back into it comfortably. She didn't think her friends had really believed her when she said she had to leave because she was working the next day.

All night there had just seemed to have been something missing. She wasn't blind to the obvious; she knew what had been missing. Up until now, however, she just hadn't wanted to accept it. But now, it seemed as though she had now choice. He was always in her thoughts, in her dreams, and even tonight, when in conversation she was constantly fighting the temptation to always bring him up. It wasn't here fault she loved him, she argued pointlessly. He made it impossible for her not too.

She sighed, pulling the clips out of her hair and shaking her head slightly do that it fell to her shoulders.

She wondered what Bobby was doing now. Had he given in and gone out with his friends? Was he sleeping his way into the New Year? Alex doubted that last one. No, if she knew Bobby as well as she thought she did, he was probably sitting in his living room was a bottle of liquor pondering an answer-less question that was twisting his brain into knots.

Sometimes she wondered if he ever thought about her outside of work, pondering over her like one of his many mind-bending riddles.

She could never be quite sure with him but sometimes she like that. Other times, like now for instance, it was just a pain in the ass.

She didn't want him to be alone, just like she didn't want to be alone. But first she should probably make sure that he _was _alone, or at least whether he was home.

She stood up and walked over to the phone. She picked it up and made two quick calls, hastily pulled on her silver shoes and coat before rushing downstairs to meet her cab.


	3. Answers

**A/N: **Here's the final chapter of this little story. **  
**

**Ch. 3 – Answers**

Putting the phone back in its cradle he carefully replayed the conversation he'd just had.

"Hey, it's me, Alex," she'd started the second he'd picked up the receiver, "Can I come over?"

"Uhh, yeah, sure," he replied.

"Great. I'll see you in twenty minutes."

She'd be over in twenty minutes. That meant she was probably coming from her apartment.

What the hell? Wasn't she supposed to be at a party tonight? Didn't one of them have some kind of social life?

He quickly tidied up his living room, putting books back on their shelves and case files in their folders. He was nearly finished when there was a knock at the door.

Surprised he went over and opened it.

He looked at the woman standing before him, confusion present on his face.

"Are you going to let me in, or just stare at me?" she asked after a few seconds.

"I didn't buzz you in, did I?" he said as he moved back to allow her entry.

"No, I followed one of your neighbours in."

"Uh. Weren't you going out tonight?" he asked, reaching out to take her coat, his eyes then wandering over her attire. He couldn't help himself really. She looked fantastic.

"I did. I take it you didn't go anywhere tonight," she said nodding towards the living room table at the vodka and shot glass as she entered the room.

"I changed my mind. Do…do you want something to drink," he asked as he picked up the vodka and the shot glass and carried them into the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'll have some of what you were just having," she said, leaning against the kitchen counter while he pulled a second shot glass from the cupboard.

He poured them both a shot and watched as she downed hers in one go before motioning for a re-fill.

"You wanna talk about it," he said, as they walked back into the living room.

"Not really," she said, sitting down on the couch.

After a few seconds, she turned to face him.

"You know what? I really don't like New Year's Eve. I mean when you were younger it was all fun, but now, its just sort of depressing. Another year gone."

"Yeah it is," he said, downing his shot, before re-filling the glass.

"Glad it only comes once a year," she said with a sly smile.

He offered her a small smile before pouring himself another glass.

They sat there in silence for a couple of minutes before Bobby spoke up.

"Why do you stay?" he said all of a sudden.

"What," she said confused, not having any idea what he was talking about.

"I mean I get recognition for nearly everything we accomplish, but none of it would ever even be possible if you weren't there. But no one understands that Alex." He sighed. "You deserve so much better." He hung his head, staring at the floor beneath him.

She moved closer to him, placing one hand on his arm, and tilting his face towards her with the other.

"Bobby, none of that matters to me, you've got to understand that. I stay," she said looking directly in his eyes, "because I want nothing more than to be with you."

After the words had left her mouth, he could see in her eyes that she was afraid she'd said too much.

"Good," he said, reaching out and brushing her hair back behind her ear, "because I feel exactly the same way."

He leaned in and gently pressed his lips to hers. Their kiss started slowly, and gently, and developed into a passionate, fiery clash of tongues. Hands roamed to places that he been previously forbidden, as they explored what they both had wanted for so long.

Later, as the lay in tangled in his bed sheets, she whispered in his ear, "Happy New Year Bobby."


End file.
